It is not about what you want but what you are willing to go through.

Yesterday, a close friend forwarded me an article about how… what we want may not be what we want because if we want something so much, why are we not getting it yet? That perhaps it roots back to how it is not about what we want but rather what are we willing to suffer and go through that determines what we truly want in life.

I thought it made a lot of sense because so many of us want to be…

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Lousy weekend.

Right now, I’m scrubbing the whole house clean because, well, it is not very clean, lol. This is how things are when you live alone. You get to clean when it gets unbearable to you and not to someone else aka siblings or parents.

It’s extremely bad because I starved for half the day, trudged through work, to come home to, well, clean.

There was initially something I look forward to but I think I’m being silly for looking forward to something that’s not within my control. It’s like banging hope on winning the lottery.

Something nasty happened while I was cleaning and I’m unsure how to deal with it. I don’t even know what I did wrong. So needless to say, I don’t know what to do about it.

So? Continue cleaning.

It’s such a bad weekend, I don’t know what to say.

So I shall say nothing.

And clean.

-end

Words.

Words are beautiful and powerful.
Words change thoughts.
Thoughts change mindsets.
Mindsets change decisions.
Decisions change lives.

And I have found no other more therapeutic ways and means of sorting out my thoughts and healing myself other than through writing. So many times I’ve started writing with no end in mind, only to come to a closure at the end; be it emotional closure or literally closure by a decision made.

And so I continue writing.

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Look Up?

I have always had problem standing up against wrong behaviour in public places for the simple reason: I Paiseh. Hahaa.

I think it is natural for most people to feel a bit afraid of speaking up, drawing attention to self, being awkward, and facing potential confrontation. I am just a normal human being who feels all these as well, if not more, because I am very fearful of many things (that even normal human beings don’t find intimidating). Doesn’t help that most of the time, bravery and courage are not celebrated; we usually are damn good at jeering and quiet about achievements. Most people will just watch from afar or worse, some whip out their phones to capture the moment on social media instead.

But thankfully, my discomfort at seeing injustice outweighs my fear. And so, I have confronted people in trains a few times, some ending peacefully, some not so.

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