How many times have we caught ourselves being in the situation whereby we think we are in control, only to know that we are wrong?
I know what I want but I fear. I fear regret more than anything else. Regret from trying, regret from not trying. Because I know very well that while regret from not trying is shitty, regret from trying, can sometimes hurt much deeper. Experience tells me that sometimes the unknown can be beautiful. And sometimes they are only beautiful because they remain unknown.
Maybe that’s why the term ‘ugly truth’ exist.
So maybe… ‘beautiful unknown’ applies too.
And how many times have we been in relationships where we think that A loves B more, A gives more, and B has the upper hand and B has control, only to see how B breaks when A decides to leave one day?
Because fact is, some people are better at expressing love, while some aren’t. So even if A shows a lot of affection and love, perhaps B has more love for A than A has for B. Or how many times have A shown so much love and promised so many things, only to leave one day, leaving B strung up and alone?
We never know if somebody truly mean what they say; are they overly expressive or are they not expressive with their true feelings because they lack the ability to do so?
Is somebody truly apprehensive because he or she cares a lot for the other party, or is it just a lack of affection that they do not commit?
And it is hard to believe but I suddenly, truly truly suddenly (as I am typing this very sentence!), realise that all the above does not matter.
Because loving someone isn’t about what one can get out of it.
It isn’t about fear of losing out, or fear of not being loved in return.
It isn’t about being hurt, being broken, being betrayed, or any pain.
Loving someone is about giving. Giving without expecting anything in return.
So why does any of the above matter?
A relationship may require mutual commitment.
But love does not equate to a relationship. They are two different things.
Unlike relationships, love does not need to be mutual.
Love is not a two way street after all.
Because you don’t need someone to love you back for you to love someone.
And this is why I love writing. Somehow, my thoughts clear up as I write.
And so I write.