This term isn’t rocket science. I am sure at some point in our life, we have all been involved, or almost involved, in such relationships.
At least, I have.
It started with this guy, N, who was the splitting imagine of a guy I broke ties with.
I was amazed because even their age and birth month was the same. No points for guessing why he was a rebound — I associated N to the ex and well, thought I had feelings for this person.
I was wrong, of course. Though I have to admit, when we sort of got together, I did have a bit of feelings for him. A bit. Tiny tiny bit. Enough to feel slightly bugged when he eventually returned to his ex gf. (I might have forced myself to cry a bit because I felt so pathetic in front of common friends)
But I know in my heart from the start that he was a rebound. And how did I know?
Firstly, I did not feel that I was in love or sweet when I was with him. I felt comforted. Secondly, I do not feel the need to contact him often and I only felt like doing so when I was bored or down. Thirdly, I know that very evil-ly deep in my heart, I wanted the ex to know about N. Fourthly, when N told me he likes me, I did not feel joy or excitement. I felt worry, panick, and apprehension. The smile on my face was literally…
And last but not least, I didn’t feel fulfilled doing things for him or liking him, but I feel relieved when he says nice things to me that show his interest for me.
Basically, it was wrong from the start.
And then, being unable to turn people down, I reciprocated by actual deeds, like throwing away stuff from ex and letting him know that (cos he likes that), waiting for him to end work, buying him nice shirts and ties blah blah blahh. And through these deeds, I was actually doing them with the intent of returning his feelings so that I won’t be guilty and not because I found joy in showing love for him.
And when he left, I was down not because I lost him, but because I felt unwanted and rejected again, and this ‘soothe’ factor is gone.
That’s how you know that a person is a rebound. Super rebound.
But come to think about it, I was probably his rebound too.. HAHAHA. What a joke.
And that is why rebound relationships almost never ever work.
And it also means that not all relationships that blossom after a break up is considered a rebound. Because it may so happen that we meet the right one the next time.
The one who makes you feel hopeful about a future together. The one who makes you want to love and give unconditionally, even if there is risk of being hurt again. The one person who pops into your head and is the number one person you want to share your joy and sorrows with. The one person you want to be with and it is not to show your ex.
The one who, when you are with, helps you to feel hope, joy, love, faith and courage to try again.
The one who makes you feel thankful for all your past mistakes, that these mistakes were right, since it brought you to him/her.
And that’s probably my definition of Mr. Right.
Not the perfect one who’s right for me. But the one who makes me feel right. Whom I want to be the right one for.
And… That’s all for today.
Don’t we just love love? *:))