At the start of the year, I made a huge decision and went ahead with it, though it was something I really did not want to do back in 2017.
And now, in March, I am glad for it. Yesterday, an email came and it signifies yet another major step ahead of the decision. It is progressing and I hope it will be done soon.
I actually can’t wait for June to come because then, it’ll all be officially over.
Work wise… things haven’t been looking too good. I still love my job in terms of the impact it’s making for the poor and needy families, as well as how volunteers are progressing with proper guidance, but I really do not like the atmosphere in the office. You know how you will choose to shut off notification or posts of people who constantly post negative things on Facebook? That’s how much I wish to ‘shut off’ somebody in the office. How I wish it can be solved with a mere click. That’ll indeed make my daily work very enjoyable.
Recently, old thoughts have been revisiting me. I feel that some times, I have not progressed. I feel that I’m always being bugged by similar issues and I can only narrow it down to one cause, which is the fact that I never learnt.
So, from today onward, I will try my best to consciously change.
Interesting, it dawned on me that while I am busy brooding over how I might potentially be less liked by someone else, there is a possibility that the other person is also brooding over the same issue. And if the other person is, then I should not worry because the other person obviously cares as much as I do and it renders my worry nil. And if the other person isn’t, then I should not worry too because obviously the other person isn’t worth my worry and it renders my worry nil.
I’m going to enjoy my fluffy pillow tonight. The ice latte on the way to work tomorrow. And my fun colleagues in office everyday.
I think I’m done being down. Been so stressed lately that I’m stress eating, having break outs, being stuck in moodiness, lethargy, exhaustion, IBS, and a lot of anxiety, doubt, and worry. So done with that.
Some days, I think I have the perfect cure to these symptoms but recently I’m starting to feel that perhaps that is a source of stress and anxiety by itself.
I’m going to start by eliminating source(s) of all these stress and anxiety.
It calls for some moving on. From things. From dreams I thought could come true. From people. Yup. And thankfully, I’m good at that, given the logic behind why I should is firm, strong and obviously obvious.
Maybe this is what they call… When you are down at pit bottom, you have no option other than to spring back up.
“If I go, there’s just no telling how far I’ll go.”